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Showing posts from January, 2016

Thank you Jesus!!!!!!

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I read this in a devotion today; 
The eighteenth-century pastor William Law wrote, "If anyone would tell you the shortest, surest way to all happiness they would tell you to make it a rule to thank and praise God for everything that happens to you. For it is certain that whatever seeming calamity befalls you, if you can thank and praise God for it you will turn it into a blessing."
Today we are thanking and praising Jesus for the opportunity to see little M Last night!  Us after our visit with him last night. The picture is blurry but we are giddy because God has not closed the door completely wth our sweet boy M. God could have closed the door, and He would still be a good, good father if He did. In most foster care cases, the relationship does end after the child goes back to family. But God, in His sweetness has softened both our hearts and M's bio moms heart. She has been so considerate of us. And we are grateful. 
Last night at the visit she introduced us to the group o…

This is how we feel about...

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Getting a call from M's mommy telling us we can visit him on Monday night!
God is so kind! And so faithful! And we're just ecstatic that we can see our boy again! Thank you Jesus! 

Foster Care: to Give or to Receive?

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That is the question. And of course, your answer and my answer are the same thing... To GIVE of course! Duh! How could anyone go into foster care, a broken system where children come in torn apart, to GET? To receive from them? To expect to receive something...?

Well.. When motives are tested and things are revealed, I found that inside of me somewhere were the hopes to receive a child. Receive... A forever family. Receive joy and happiness from them. And that motive, not dealt with, causes many problems - because it's not about me. It's about providing those very things (joy and happiness) for them no matter what the outcome. I truly thought going into foster care that I knew this. I did "know" it in my head, but my heart was in a different place. It's interesting how we can know something but our hearts can be far from that idea, and because we "know" it in knowledge terms, we think we've "got it"... just then to have circumstances revea…

our song in the night

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We got the call tonight. CPS is coming to pick up little M tomorrow.

When my worker called me I couldn't help but start balling on the phone. We were not prepared for this. But, I guess you can never be prepared. I couldn't even finish the conversation with her. Our convo was a haze. 
Right now I am laying with little M in my arms, he normally doesn't sleep with us, but tonight is different. Tonight is our last night. I am hoping the night won't pass and time will stand stil  so that I can hear his little breath and feel his sweet skin on mine. What am I going to do without his smile in my days? His laugh? His talking? and seeing his face light up when i walk by...*

*and that's the end of the typing I did that terrible  Thursday night. I just stopped typing and snuggled him through the night. I didn't sleep, but I sure watched him rest with us. Now it's Monday and our hearts still ache. It was excruciating going through the first night, morning, car ride, c…