This is one of our favorite places to go on Wednesdays after we drop dad off at work. I enjoy it because of the beautiful scenery, L likes it because there are ducks, and at the end of the walk we get Starbucks and she gets a treat :).
Picture from sometime in October^ me and L :)
Today was our first walk on The Waterway with little M in tow. L and I had made it a habit to go to The Waterway every week, but once M came back, there was some much needed adjustment time for all of us so we didn't venture out much (by myself at least!). But today, we did it! I'm enjoying watching God stretch my heart and my ability to be a mommy to these precious ones! He's growing me, and I'm thankful.
Today it was super windy, so I found myself holding on tight to these two as literally the wind may just have knocked them over! Lol. At first, L was scared of the wind, then I told her God is just giving us a breeze, and she started to enjoy it more!
They brighten up my life.
As we were walking, I saw this quote engraved on an overpass. I know I've seen it before, but it hit me with a fresh perspective as I glanced at it today. It said
"The Journey is the Reward" - ancient proverb.
This journey with these two has been a crazy, hard, beautiful one. At times, I didn't like the journey, and still don't because it's still going on. I am humbled and baffled that I have no "control" (like I ever did anyways?) of the foster care process, or to know if these children will ever truly share our last name. All I know is that God has called me to give 100 percent of myself to them while I have them in my care.
The journey though, you see, is of infinite importance to God. I believe that's what He tenderly spoke to me today as I read that quote. In the journey itself do we gain those eternal awards/treasures, not in the destination... but in the journey.
In our world, it really is engrained in our brains to always be pursuing some sort of "arrival" state. When we "arrive" to certain points in life; graduation, marriage, overcoming a certain sin or struggle, the dream job, the dream house, the dream family, the adoption... etc. we have this sense that in that place of "arrival" we will finally be at peace and rest. So we're motivated every day by a sense of arriving at some point. But we all know, that rest/ peace/ happiness NEVER happens. There is ALWAYS another hurdle to cross, always another "point" to reach. It's never enough, because we aren't meant to find our arrival here in this world, but the next! We can only find that rest in Christ, our Heavenly Lord, day in and day out.
So, this is my journey. These babies, are part of our (Kalen and I's) journey. And I wouldn't trade the hard or unpredictable to get them out of our journey. Loving these babes here now by the grace of Christ Jesus is the part of the reward. Adoption isn't necessarily the reward (even though our hearts are so knit together and we would LOVE that outcome!)
The JOURNEY is the REWARD
With all that said, please pray for our little family. Though God brought great encouragement to my heart today, it is still very heavy for both of my babes situations.
For L: please pray because we found out there was an appeal around 60 days (after the goodbye visit). We were initially told that there was only a 30 day appeal process, but apparently the attorney said it's actually 90 days. So, now with an appeal in process, the attorney said its def. going to take longer to adopt L (around 6 months). And with the appeal there is a small chance of adoption not happening. Also, the unknown fathers attorney has called for a RETRIAL. Which may actually happen. It's really unbelievable, because there is no evidence for the unknown father. Pray for God's perfect will, swift and perfect justice to prevail for L please! We are weary. Thank you.
For M: it is definitely headed toward termination of mom's rights. We don't know much as to why, but we were asked if we were willing to adopt him, and Of course we said yes! But now mom is looking for other placements for him, which there is a home study right now that's being processed for the paternal grandma, which we are told is likely to be approved.
We want God's perfect will for M. We love him deeply. But know and trust God to be the Judge in this situation. We also know prayer is the real work so we ask for your continued prayers for little M - Gods swift and perfect justice to prevail. Trial for his case is Feb. 15th.
You can add Kalen and I's hearts (to be at rest in Jesus) in your prayers as well, please! Thank you!
Leaning again on Proverbs 3:5-6, and the God who never fails,